Why or Why Not…Me?

This post has been on my mind a while now.  Today is the day I see why and how my thoughts and what I’ve been trying to do with my mind and my life are put to the test.  There have been a few instances over the last month or two where this question keeps popping up in my head.  In one way I will immediately think “why me??” and directly after I change the statement to “why not me?”.  It’s not an easy mindset and it’s one that I’m working on.  But I have noticed a change in my life since I’ve actively started changing the phrase.

I feel like there are two kinds of people in the world.  They “why me” people and the “why not me” people.  I encourage you to search your heart and find out which you are.  I find that the “why me” people are often asking why it should be them that steps up to the plate.  Why it should be them bad things happen to.  Why is should be them that has to go without so others might go with.  It’s so easy to think this way.

Then there are the “why not me” people.  When faced with a challenge or asked for a favor they think “why not me?”.  Why shouldn’t it be you that steps up?  Why shouldn’t it be you that something happens to?  Why should it be anyone else?

See a post about foster families needed?  What do you think?  What is the phrase you say in your head?  Why me?  Or maybe, why not me??  Why should it be you that has to open your heart and home to potential pain and heartbreak?  Why should it be you that has to deal with the social system and fighting for a child you do not know?  How about, why shouldn’t it be you?  Who else should it be?  Someone with more money?  Someone with more time?  Do you know a person like that?  Maybe they have more on their plate already then you realize.  You don’t know.  But I ask again, why shouldn’t it be you?

Work calls and asks you to help out, why you?  Why should your day be ruined?  Why should you change your plans?  How about, why not you?  A friend calls and asks a favor of you, why you?  Why should you loan them money you feel like you don’t already have?  Why should you be the one they call when they have never done anything for you in return?  Again, why NOT you?

Someone becomes sick in your life, or God forbid, you do.  Why does this have to happen to me?  Why is it always me that these terrible things happen to?  Why NOT you?

The examples in my head go from the smallest issues to the biggest.  I in know way would want anyone to feel like I’m preaching either, because Lord knows there is a lot of times I still find myself muttering under my breath, why me?  Last night, sometime in the middle of the night, my husbands car was stolen.  Right out of our driveway.  Fifty feet from where we slept, where our daughter slept, someone came onto our property and rummaged through the car finding the spare key Andy and myself haven’t been able to locate for some time, and took off with the car we worked tirelessly for for two years.  Of course before they took off they made sure to go through my vehicle, take what little things they could, ruin the center console for fun and make sure I felt good and violated when I sat in it.

Yesterday I bought my daughter a new power wheel that had to charge over night.  She waited so patiently while it charged and couldn’t wait to take it outside to ride this morning.  I made my tea and put a sweatshirt on ready to sit on my porch and enjoy my day off while watching her ride up and down the road.  Instead I watched her ride it and chalk while talking to two police officers telling them about what had happened through the night.  Asking them if there was any chance they thought they would find the vehicle.  Asking them if this activity has been happening more and explaining to them that I never felt so stupid, ashamed, violated and unsafe on my perfectly quiet and happy street.

All morning long I caught myself and tried changing my statements in my head.  Of course “why me?” was the first thing I wanted to say.  Why us???  We worked so hard for that car.  We were a one car household for almost a year while we saved making sure to have a big chunk of change to put down on the vehicle and make it affordable and easy to pay off.  We went without many things so that we could reach our goal.  We both worked hard, we both struggled and we both were so proud the day we picked it up.  Then just like that, someone came and took it all away from us.  Why me???

Then I looked up and down my street.  I started thinking about my neighbors.  I know a lot of them.  Some of them only through some waves and greetings while others we’ve gotten to know better.  I immediately thought, who else should it be???  I know the people just next door to us recently sold both of their older vehicles just so they could afford one nice one.  Both mom and dad work and they have to manage their schedules with two children under two with just the one car.  I know an elderly couple across the street, they are the sweetest people who are just recovering from a fall the wife took a while ago.  Another lady down the street is a single mom on a waitress salary.  Another family close by is putting three kids through college all at the same time.  Who else would I wish this on?  Who else do I wish it was instead of me???  No one.

I’ll say it again, no one.

Andy and I have insurance.  We’ve been speaking with them all morning.  It’ll be a challenge going back to one vehicle but after a while they say we can get a rental.  After quite sometime, if they don’t find the car they will cut us a check for what they think it’s worth.  Because it’s pretty new, we could only end up loosing about a thousand dollars when this is all over.  Does that hurt?  Of course.  We were just getting ahead and not trying to rob peter to pay paul every month?  Yup.  But we CAN do it.  We WILL do it.  We will be OK.  There are so many other worse scenarios that could have happened.  They could have made my car undriveable.  They could have tried to enter our home.  They could damaged every car on the street.

All in all, there are people having much worse days than us today.  Bigger problems with no solutions.  So today I am just going to remind myself that it SHOULD be us.  We can handle this and we still have so much to be thankful for.

I encourage you to try and change the statement in your head as well.  I hope it empowers you and can make us all a little more thankful for the blessings we do have in our lives.  So today, ask yourself, “why NOT you??”



We got this.  Why NOT us?

Article by Brenna Cudzilo

Wife and world record holder of wing-sauce ordered with food not comprised of the words "wings, boneless, buffalo, et al.".

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