There have been a lot of questions and a lot of opinions lately on what is facebook “appropriate” and what is not so I thought I would share my thoughts. Sometimes when I’m scrolling down through my newsfeed I just have to shake my head or roll my eyes at some of the stuff I see posted. We all know those people who use it as a personal diary…we know the people who use it as a passive aggressive way to make a remark at someone…we know those people who post their every moment of every day (yes…I can live now that I know you have gone to the gym and are now going to have coffee)…and we know those people who are all those things rolled into one and then some!
However what compelled me to write this post is that there seems to really be some question…some people who actually want to know what actually is “appropriate” and what is not. There are also people I have seen commenting on how some things on their page are not certain peoples’ “business”. Those two facts together have made me put some thought and even a little bit of research into what I believe is an “appropriate” answer.
Miranda Lambert sings a song called “Mama’s Broken Heart”. I love it and have been guilty of killing everyone’s ears in a bar singing it on the karaoke machine. The chorus says to fix your make-up…hide your crazy and start acting like a lady. It talks about her mama reminding her that she raised her better than to fall apart…in PUBLIC.
There is a time and place for everything. We all break down some times and lose are cool. We all need a good cry now and then and sometimes just a ruthless rant where we drop more swear words than we did all month just to get our anger out at the situation………this should take place in your bathroom….not on the internet. Some of you may think that this is a little “old-school”, that this is not how the world lives anymore. To that I say think about what you want for your life and for your children’s life. What kind of a world/example do we need to set for them. There was never a quote more true then one I read that said “women these days want a gentleman…but they know nothing about acting like a lady.” The opposite is also true…men wanting a lady and not knowing how to be gentleman. So how do we start? By knowing what is private and what is public.
Too old school for you? I took it to the dictionary: to go public – is for the general public
This means that it doesn’t matter how many privacy setting you have…what you put on the internet is for the general public…that means everybody.
go public – to present private or previously concealed information, news, etc., to the public…make matters open to public view
This means that not only is it available to everybody now…like your boss…your future boss of your dream job…you mama…you pastor…you grams…but also to those children you are going to have one day that may even be non-existent right now. Read closely…previously concealed information…because those pictures you just posted…you didn’t have to. You could have kept them to yourself. Shared them with a friend or two. Gone old school and printed them off and put them in a scrap book for keeping. You could have done a lot of different things…but you posted it. You put it on facebook…you put it on instagram…you put it out there anywhere for anyone in the whole world to see. You might think that it is really funny now…that picture you just put up of you holding a banana at a college party…um…suggestively….but someday when your kid googles your name and that pops up you can have a great conversation with them about what proper behavior is. I wonder if the twelve “likes” will be that important to you then? Or will you be raising a child to think that that is totally acceptable? Think about what you want. If you type into google anything about facebook appropriate, getting fired, etc., you will see millions of examples of people who lost their jobs…their internships…or their children! (yes when you posted that pic of you smoking up…you forgot to edit your child out of the background passed out on the couch).
Dictionary still not enough for you…google “quotes staying private”…you will be flooded with quotes from celebrates about wanting to stay private…wanting to have something of their own…wanting to not share every little part of their business with everyone. Now of course we all know some famous celebs who don’t give a crap (I’m looking at you Kardashian family)…but the majority…and you will see from who said all these quotes…are people who have to fight for privacy. People who have to pay more money…work extra hard and take extra measures…just to have a private life. So take it from somebody who doesn’t have a choice…having no private life is no fun.
You know I know there are some people out there who have been caught off guard with information someone else put up about them or that they didn’t even know was out there. So many of those people say things like “I should be able to keep it private…my boss shouldn’t be able to see”. Well…ahem…you know when you joined and there was this long informative page full of information that you didn’t read and you just clicked “accept”? Yea….well…that kinda tells you that what happens is nobodies fault but your own. You want to stay super private? Stay off the internet. You want to stay modest and sort of private? Then be careful what you post!
So I guess to sum it up I would have to say that if you are wondering if what you are about to post is “appropriate”…ask yourself this question. Would walk into a very busy restaurant full of people you knew…and some that you didn’t…and would you walk up to every single table and look them in the face…and tell them….what you are about to post? Would you do it? I can hear someone right now going “hell yeah I would…I don’t care!”…well my dear…you are a lost cause and we are not talking to you. You are so far from “lady” status that it will be a millennium until you change enough to find a gentleman…or you will settle for a man who is not one, and then the two of you will continue to post ridiculously inappropriate things and you will be the example for us all on what “not” to do.
The rest of you…try it out. I mean, come on…are you really going to walk up to every table at a restaurant of your friends and say “I’m really having an issue with losing weight…don’t you think?”…or how about “I have to poop?”….”Hey folks…I’m heading to the doctor to get my ::insert extremely inappropriate disease/body part:: checked out”…”My bf/gf/husband/wife makes me so made that I’m going to bash them to every single person I know”…..
Take a lesson from the “softer generation”…learn to be a lady…try to act like a gentleman…keep what should be private…private. No one said you can’t have your fun…no one said you can’t spend a night taking funny pictures…but keep it off the internet. Once it’s out there….no one can get it back. Let’s be the example. Let’s set the bar high. Let’s hold ourselves to a higher standard. One where we conduct ourselves in public in an “appropriate” fashion. And yes…in this case “public” also includes the internet….it is as “public” a place as you can get. “Learn to keep your private life private, or they will make your life their entertainment” -Unknown.